Netiquette, or the MSN rant

Hello everyone

First of all- my word of the week sort of thing:

Perfunctory- adj superficial, hasty, done merely as a matter of form, half-hearted, perforemed carelessly, indifferent.

What i really like about this word is that is has a definite meaning, yet sounds ike a word you'd make up just to sound clever- I had to check the dictionary just to make sure it was real. I certainly believe that this adjective has often been used without it's meaning coming across at all.

OK, back to business, my chance to yabber on at the hand that feeds me- MSN messenger. While MSN is certainly a very cool device it has a number of annoying quirks, as do the people that use it, myself included though I like to think that I'm immune to all that! I originally did this as a series of small articles on MSN and its use- but I present them to you in complete form

Section 1- Microsoft Network Messenger, the stigma and ignorance surrounding MSN

"Are you on MSN?" I heard for once again, knowing that now MSN had come into our brief summer relationship, it wouldn't last much longer. "OK then, what's your mobile then?" Blinking back the tears I explained that I didn't posess a mobile phone, she looked back at me startled. I hastily added that I did posess an e-mail adress, which seemed to cheer her up slightly- knowing that I wasn't a total trogladyte, but inwardly i was sighing. She was of a different generation to me, yes she'd e-mail at first, but she was used to the brief, letter economical texting or instantaneous conversation online- she wouldn't want to write long meaningful e-mails to me, no- i was just as well saying goodbye as "Keep in touch"
Now this tale, for those who are breaking out the hankies isn't true, or at least the romantic implication of it isn't true but there have been plenty of potential mates that I have met over the summer, had a great time with, and never spoken to again because e-mail is to much hassle. Now I have obivously joined the MSN generation, but i still feel there is this oppresive element to it- like a great international clique that you can only join if you've downloaded this one specific messenger.
Because MSN has been spread across the world as THE messenger, though other brands may be of equal quality, likely even superior. But since it has been packaged into our brousers, included on our PCs, everyone has it and expects that others should join the club. So the question is not- "do you have a messenger?" it's "do you have MSN" . I don't mean to diss MSN as it is a handy service , though as I've mentioned it can be very annoying. I'm just saying think about those people who don't have this device and make sure you don't ignore them because they're not part of the club- and don't bully them into joining either- it's hard, having been on the other end i know.
But the question "do you have MSN" exposes a great ignorance- people don't actually know what MSN is. MSN rather boringly stands for Microsoft Network- basically anything that Microsoft provides on the internet- such as search functions, websites and yes messenger is incorporated into MSN, yet the word has come to mean a way to instantaneously communicate across distances online and through text.
So the next time you (or I) ask someone "do you have MSN?" just think about what you're asking- what do you really mean when you ask this question- and what would you do if they said no?

Section 2- The Software

Now we discuss the program itself, the workings and manerisms of the MSN software. I have long held that MSN (Messenger) is the "Small Child" of software- Microsoft built software that is. Not to say that other devices are necessarily better, I'm just saying that Microsoft built MSN with annoying the general public in mind. This is mostly a marketing/advertising thing, 'Soft want you to buy and use their product therefore, like any company, they throw it in your face.
Computers come with MSN (and a whole load of other software you might not want) installed- Internet Explorer (which come as standard) has a little MSN icon at the top telling you to use it- come on, all you have to do is click (then sign up, maybe get a new e-mail adress, tick a load of boxes permitting them to advertise to you 24/7 etc. And you get a handy little gizmo, easy as that.
But the problem is, once you've installed it, MSN still isn't happy- in fact it insists on being in your face all the time. MSN is programmed to appear when you log on to your PC, sign itself in, give you useful information like MSN Today (what is that about!!) and advertise updates to you incessantly. Now these features can quite easily be turned off, but the point is that off the shelf MSN comes with annoying as standard.
For example- the auto-sign in feature was my fault- I clicked the button that made it sign in by itself. Why did i do such a thing? why did I end up with MSN signing in when I wanted to do work, so I was disturbed by well meaning people who thought I wanted to chat- why when I played a game and finally quit did I find six people who had thought they could talk to me- but thought I was very rude not talking back- why would i sign up for that? I'll tell you why- because every single time I logged in to MSN a little message popped up advising me to turn on this feature, it got such a pain that I gave in, not knowing how much worse it would be.
As i said these features can be turned off, and I will instruct those who have to deal with this junk as to how in a minute, but let me reiterate MSN's childishness. Compared to an old wise program such as microsoft Word "Are you sure you want to delete that?" MSN pops up every morning saying boo! Look at me use me use me! Too much hassle to sign in, I'll do it for you, I can handle it honest! You obviously know nothing about the outside worl so here's some celebrity gopssip for you to read. eventually it'll start talking to your mates for you- you come on to do some work and before you know it you've blackmailed your best mate and asked that girl you met last week to marry you!!
OK, basic instruction in how to make MSN slightly less annoying. First i will detail the features that are troublesome with MSN.

1. Auto sign-in- I think you've got the picture
2. Popping up- most people don't mind this, but you may not want MSN to appear on your screen every time you log on
3. MSN Today, a thing that pops up with news events and quick access to your e-mail- I can' t see any decent purpose for it, so you'll probably want to get rid of this
4. Those annoying alerts and sound- again works for some

OK, to adjust all of these- open the MSN main program, go to the top and select TOOLS and then OPTIONS, you should see a screen which is entitiled "Personal" and has your screen name etc. Cycle through the different options and you will see various check boxes which you can tick/untick to remove or add MSN's features.

1, 2 and 3 are covered in General, and 4 in Alerts and sounds- I hope this makes MSN usage a little more pleasant.


Section 3- LOL

Why?! Why?! Why do people have to say 'lol' all the time on MSN?!!! Now in general I will admit I don't have a problem with people saying this so you don't need to go on a mega guilt trip for saying this- though if you decide to change your ways I applaud you. But this is mainly due to it being such a common part of conversing (ooh, I love that word- I'll look it up for next time maybe) on MSN that you hardly notice it- but that for me is part of the problem. This is starting to get a bit personal- but hey, it's my blog is it not?
When I started utlising MSN Messenger ("MSNing" is NOT a word ok?!!) I entered at the end of the period when lol was correctly used. LOL, for those of you blessed with ignorance of the word, stands for "Laugh Out Loud". So it used to be typed in when someone heard something of such hilarity that they literally did laugh out loud, needless to say i heard this quite a bit, and they needed to type something to show they heard and enjoyed the joke without having to type "hahahahahaha!!" or something like that.
But over time "lol" developed into a way of expressing the slightest degree of merriment. LOL became a standard reply to pretty much anything said since MSN is generally a forum for mildly amusing conversation as it is extremely lacking when serious talk is needed- due to people talking over each other etc. So lol is used all the time and is even starting to creep outside of Messenger usage. And Lol's original purpose is lost- this is visible from the fact that phrases such as LMAO and ROFL (I think) are being brought in to replace the original meaning of lol. Lol has become a trigger reflex, something that is said without though or meaning and this is what irritates me about it, the fact that people are saying I'm funny yet not meaning it in the slightest- just typing something they know fits- I DO have feeling people!! I think something needs to replace this system so we can have a system that actually fits the conversation- till something better comes along I'm going to stick with "hehe" it expresses that I am amused and in the appropriate degree.

I think this topic has had it's runtime so i will find something new to bemoan (ooh that's a good word too- long and completely pointless!) or perhaps even praise, whadya know I might even talk about my life.

Enjoy your lives folks

The Figleaf