Hello, and once again welcome to blogsville, my miraculously still alive web log. Sometime soon I will be exploring the three Rs (devised by someone who could do none of them) of Reading, Writing and Arithmetic, and hopefully doing a little bit of each - we'll we'll see about the maths!!
But firstly there are three Ss to deal with, the three S's of summer- that's right, Sweat, Sunburn and Snot!! Now first of all, let me just state that I am just as much a fan of the summer as most of you are, not as excited about it as some (yes I'm looking at you ladies) who as soon as they see a glimmer of sunlight penetrating the last grey cloud of spring will drop everything run out and... lie in the same place for about three hours burning away the fake tan they've been applying since chrsitmas. So I ain't a summer nut, but before I get into my pet niggles about the present season let me first state that I do not hate the summer and spend all day indoors begging for clouds, I do like to get out there and have some fun on occasion.
But I have to confess there are some things about the season that aren't to my liking. The first- Sweat, the inevitable consequence of standing out in the intense heat wearing the black coat you put on because it was cloudy when you woke up. But the heat gets to me, you get tired much easier, it's harder to concentrate- even just sitting down can get you knackered and confused, and after all that you start to wiff a bit too! Now this is probably due to my physical fitness or lack thereof as much as anything else, but it does get to that point during the day when you want to just turn on every fan in the house and stick your head in the freezer.
Now some of you can happily lie down all day in the sun and come back looking like you've been on holiday- well done what an achievement- in my opinion you should just cover yourself in Ronseal (does exactly what it says on the tin) and you're covered- and you'll also be protected from woodworm! But that's for another day, because I'm a burner, unlike so many I'm proud to look like I was born on these fair shores, and that I haven't been on holiday further than you can drive in a car. But this does mean that when exposed to sunlight I feel the full effect of hole in the ozone layer as the sun's powerful rays beat down upon my fair skin- so going outside for extended periods of time is an issue for me without the added protection of suncream, sunblock and inevitably, aftersun. Fortunately these days I am blessed with long beautiful hair which extends to protect my neck and face- the areas I burn most often, so for brief stays I am (so far as now) doing ok.
The last thing is the curse of hayfever- if you do not have this disease then take a moment to think about those of us that do- and do not dare mock us for we will bring down upon you the full extent of a hayfever rage upon you! Hayfever is very irritating as it disables you rather than affecting you or causing you pain- though it most certainly can do. What hayfever does is cause you to sneeze incessantly, rub your itching eyes, stagger around like you've just been punched, make disgusting slurping noises because there's an itch half way down your throat beyond the reach of any part of your boady and generally you want to crawl into a dark corner and never see daylight again. The closest equivalent is a cold, which has some of the same symptoms- I've actually caught a few colds and ignored them because I thought they were hayfever- not a major disaster, but irritating and makes it ten times harder to do anything. You couldn't call in sick because of a cold, yet at the same time it's impossible to do any work. Well imagine knowing that every time you walk out of your door and it's a pleasant day you are almost certain to catch a cold- welcome to the world of hayfever!
So for some of us summer ain't all it's cracked up to be, but I've got hayfever medicine, sun cream and deodorant so don't worry I'm gonna be joining you out there for what looks to be a glorious British Summer, hope you all cope with your summer gripes and have a great time too
Aled
Word- Sacreligious
Note:- In asserting that i am proud to 'look like I'm from Britain' I am not in any way decreasing the right of any coloured person or persons to assert that they are a native of Great Britiain, any person offended may now relax and I strongly suggest get a hobby!!
